The Key To Feeling Important When Alone

Feeling Important

This subject has been on my heart for a while. Emotions can be hard to handle. Love and hate are two opposites. It feels wonderful to be loved by someone who is affectionate, supportive, loving. It is a good feeling to know that there is someone in your life who will always have your back.

And then there is hatred. You can never please everyone. There may be some people who actually hate you, for various reasons. There may be some people for whom you feel hatred.  Or the feeling that you have may not be quite so strong as hatred, but dislike. We all know people for whom we do not feel kindly.  There may be something about that person that just hits you the wrong way. It certainly does not feel good, either hatred or dislike.

There is another state of being that is void of emotion. That is indifference. Have you ever had someone tell you that he or she does not care what you do? Or know of someone who does not say those words, but in actions or inactions, give that impression? I have. It is painful to say the least.

I never dated in high school. I did well academically, but I was overweight, not comfortable in my body.  Every year we had a turnabout dance. That was when the girls would ask the boys to a dance. One year, I asked a guy who I liked to go to the dance. He made a joke out of it, pretended like he was going to die. Needless to say, I never asked again. I was embarrassed.

During my freshman year in college, I was a part of a group of friends, boys and girls. Our dorms were joined by a lobby area. One of the boys and I started dating. His name was Billy. I was so happy! It felt great to have a boyfriend, finally. But I did not know the first thing about being in a relationship. I was too needy by far. After a few short months, he broke up with me. I did not take it well. I was crying hysterically, asking him what I was going to do. His response was that he did not care what I did! Indifference. Was that all that the last few months had meant to him? He broke my heart. To add insult to injury, he started dating another girl in our group. I was faced with them together every day, very resentful and hurt.  

More recently, I had moved to South Carolina after my husband died for a job. I started dating someone I had met online. After a year and a half, I decided that I wanted to move back to Florida, to have at least one of my daughters near by. I had been dreading telling my then boyfriend that I was moving. There was a totally unexpected reaction from him. He got very excited, saying I should be close to my daughter. Then he said that I needed to get another boyfriend!  Really? Is that all that the last year and a half meant to you? I need to get another boyfriend? Indifference.

We all like to feel that there ae those who care about us, who care what happens to us.  But when someone for whom we had feelings shows little regard for us, it hurts. I see this kind of reaction more frequently. How often do you hear about someone being attacked while those around them are busy videotaping the event instead of getting them some help? Indifference.

You deserve to have people in your life who cares about what happens to you. That is especially true when an important person in your life dies. Will you ever have someone in your life again who cares what happens to you? The good news is that our Lord and God loves us unconditionally. He will never fail us. He cares. Blessed!

Key to Feeling Important #1

Even if you are not feeling it, know that you deserve that feeling of being important. You matter. You are loved.

Key to Feeling Important #2

Feeling important, like your life matters, is essential to your well being. It allows you to have hope for a better tomorrow. With God’s help, you will survive and thrive.